


Your Scars Are My Trophies

by MasonOtonashi



Category: Descendants (2015)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slight Smut, Slow Build, Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, broken bonds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-04-19 06:50:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4736642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasonOtonashi/pseuds/MasonOtonashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was an arrangement, nothing else. It wasn't anything other than just an arrangement. Even if no one saw Carlos' scars and no one saw the dead look in Jay's eyes. Everything went unnoticed until the blood filled bandages were laying on the ground, Jay rocking back and forth in the corner of the room and Carlos no where to be found. The truth unraveling in front of their eyes. No one was ever to see his scars and that was their biggest mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bandages

Carlos slowly wrapped the white bandages around his arm, turning the white of the cloth into a dark crimson. He made sure to apply pressure every time he wrapped the 'now-damp' cloth around his arm to make sure that it was secure enough to stop the bleeding. Once he was done, he sighed deeply as the pounding on the door got louder and louder. He quickly placed the roll of bandages into one of the drawers before making his way to the door. The pounding made his head throb , but the feeling passed once the door was open, revealing a pissed off jay with his fist in the air.

"What the hell Carlos! Why didn't you open the door?" Jay said calmly, trying hard not to yell at the teen in front of him. He let out a quick sigh, not noticing the downcast look the other teen had.

"I'm sorry," Carlos said quietly, he felt Jay's hard glare on him, but he decided to ignore it because he knew that if he looked into those dark, cold eyes, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from crying. So he quickly tried to compose himself before the teen could notice. He then looked up at Jay, now able to look the other teen in the eye.

Jay sighed once more before looking back into Carlos' eyes, giving him one of his genuine smiles. "It's fine, but now I'll be late for my date with Audrey." He said, walking over to his bed, picking up the clothes he laid out in the morning.

Carlos felt his heart drop as one of his hands reached for one of his fresh bandages, but stopped himself as he felt the clip come undone. He rolled down his sleeve a little before turning to the direction Jay was. He gave Jay a soft smile as the other turned to look at him.

"Okay, I think I'll have enough time to go get her flowers. Everything is going to be okay." Jay smiled, looking truly happy. Of course, that didn't go unnoticed by Carlos as he felt his stomach flip, giving him the urge to throw up his lunch, but instead, he decided the best thing to do was to leave the other teen alone for now.

"Hey, I forgot that I needed to go meet up with Evie and Doug to study," Carlos scratched his bandage which only helped to ruin his handiwork. "So I should be going." He said, walking to his drawer a little too quickly as he pulled out the roll of bandages and shoving it into his pocket, ignoring Jay's glare.

Once at the door, he turned around to face Jay who was looking back at him. He felt his heart sink while blood was already starting to run down his palm. So he excused himself with a quick 'Good luck' before running as far as he could away from the other teen.

All he wanted right now was to shut everything out. To destroy everything in his path until the only thing left was his broken shell. Until he was able to make himself unrecognizable to anyone, but it's not like anyone knew who he truly was to begin with. Every time his friends looked at him the mask was placed securely so that no one could read his emotions. Of course, he never bothered to tell anyone these feelings, since he believed that no one would care.

Carlos could physically feel his legs burn before he felt them give out beneath him. His knees hit the ground hard as his body leaned forward from the impact, his hands keeping him from hitting the ground. Now his face was staring directly at the ground, his mind completely clouded with everything that he thought was going wrong. Everything that he thought he did wrong.

"I got too close. It's my fault. I shouldn't have met him, I just want to disappear. I don't think I can face him anymore. Not like this. Not at all." Carlos leaned back so that he was now staring straight at the sky, his hands laying limply on both sides. His eyes fixated on the sky, on the stars.

"You told me that you would never leave my side, you told me that we would always be together." Carlos whimpered, covering his face with his hands. "You told me that nothing would come between us."

One of his hands left his face and desperately searched through his pocket, pulling out the small blade. He didn't bother to look at it, but instead, he used his teeth to unwrap the cloth from his right arm. Once he was done, he let out a small whimper, his vision becoming blurry with tears.

"You told me that no matter what happens, I could count on you." He got the small blade and quickly swiped it over his right arm, blood seeping through his skin almost immediately.

"You said we were best friends." Another slash.

"You said that we would run off together." Another slash.

"Was everything you said a lie?" A new cut appearing on his arm.

"Was it your way of letting me down easy." Another slash.

That's how the rest of the night went. His arm turning a dark crimson as he kept whimpering into the silence of the forest. Everything was slowly disappearing and soon, everything was black.


	2. Lies

"Carlos, where the hell were you!?" Jay yelled, wrapping his arms around his best friend. He quickly back away and looked into Carlos' eyes, trying to see if there was any signs of damage, if someone had hurt him. He stopped once he noticed how pale his friend was.

"Why are you so pale?" Jay said, grabbing a hold of Carlos' hand, making his way to the small desk next to ht e video games. He then sat his friend down before examining him more thoroughly. Using his hand to move his face from side to side, up and down, to look for anything off about him.

"I did skip lunch and dinner yesterday. I also haven't had breakfast yet either, that might be it." Carlos said, giving his friend a small grin, rubbing his right arm. Flinching softly at the touch, but luckily Jay didn't notice.

Jay rushed to the small fridge next to the gaming chairs that was provided for them by request of "king" Ben. Mostly because they wouldn't stop bother Mal about it and she bullied her boyfriend before he finally obliged and gave them their mini fridge.

After a while, he pulled out a bottle of apple juice and a small bowl of grapes. He quickly made his way to where Carlos and placed the food on the desk before walking over to his bed. Carlos on the other hand stayed put.

Carlos slowly opened the bottle, eating a few grapes in the process. The sweetness tasted weird on his tongue as it combined with taste of metal and dirt. But otherwise, it was satisfying, especially with his friend babying him.

"Hey Carlos." Jay said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah." A grape sliding in between his lips.

"Do you remember our arrangement?" Jay stood up from his bed, walking over to Carlos until he was standing in front of him.

"Of course I do." Carlos replied, a little nervous about where this was going. "Yeah, you told me that you would never leave my side."

"I know I said that, but Ii want to call it off." Jay said as he saw his friends face to a lighter shade of white as the grape in between his fingers was now on the ground.

Carlos stared at his friend, his eyes trying to find any sort of sign that told him that this was a joke. 'Of course it wasn't, Jay would never joke about about something like that,' Carlos thought, realization instantly hitting him. 'He's not joking.'

"What do you mean you calling it off?" Carlos asked, slightly scared of the other teen's answer as he placed the bowl and bottle on the desk.

"Audrey thinks we spend too much time together. She thinks that I might be in love with you. Which of course is crazy, right." Jay grinned sheepishly, taking a step forward, but Carlos was at his side in one swift movement.

"So you're saying that all those years of friendship. After all those times you saw me breakdown. YOU KNOW WHAT MY MOTHER HAS DONE TO ME! YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE THAT WAS THERE FOR ME! And after all that," Carlos paused, his left hand instinctively going to rub his right arm. "And after all that, you're going to leave me."

"I'm not leaving you Carlos, I didn't say anything about leaving."

"I'm so stupid." Carlos said, one hand going to pull his hair. "So freaking stupid."

"You are not stupid Carlos." Jay said, reaching forward to grab onto Carlos' arm, but Carlos pushed him away.

"Don't touch me." Carlos stared at Jay blankly, his eyes beginning to glaze over with tears. He already felt himself on the verge of another break down. "Don't you dare touch me."

"Carlos, calm down we're still friends. Nothing will change, I promise." Jay said trying to reach forward, but his hand was slapped away.

Carlos began to back away slowly from jay until his hand was on the door knob. He tried to open the door but Jay quickly placed and hand over his, pushing and locking the door, so that Carlos couldn't walk out on him. This, only helped to make Carlos as he began to furiously try to unlock the door, pulling and pulling on it until his arms began to burn. He wanted to run, but Jay wouldn't let him.

"Jay, let me out. Please." Carlos begged, still pulling on the door. He could feel his bandages start to unravel, so he quickly began to stuff part of it into his sleeve, hoping that Jay didn't notice. To which, Jay was already holding on tightly to Carlos' shoulder.

"What was that?" Jay said darkly, examining Carlos' expression. Carlos tried to pull his arm away, but Jay used his other hand and grabbed his wrist.

"Jay, please, don't." Carlos said, struggling against Jay's hold. Tear were already starting to run down his cheeks, but he still kept trying to get away from his friend.

"Jay, come one, let go of me." Carlos whimpered, he kept struggling. He then saw Jay reach to pull his sleeve up and he began to panic. Every part of him wanted to scream and run away, but he couldn't. "

"JAY, NO! LET GO OF ME! JAY!" Carlos began to yell, he began to frantically pull on his arm. Jay didn't show any signs of letting go which only made Carlos panic even more.

Jay reached forward and pulled down Carlos' sleeve. He ignored the others struggling as he began to pull it up. Jay's eyes began to widen as he was met with white bandages that were stained with a dark red in different areas. He stared at Carlos' arm blankly, not taking his eyes away from the red blotches, he didn't notice that Carlos had stopped struggling.

"Jay." Carlos said weakly, staring at the teen in front of him.

Jay stayed silent as he began to unwrap the bandages. Carlos didn't bother to struggle anymore, so he watch as each roll fell to the ground until his arm was revealed. Cuts and bruises were visible everywhere. There was no sign of his actual skin tone at all anymore. It was all just a patchwork of reds, blues and purples. None of it seemed natural. Nothing about this situation was natural. Everything was wrong.

"What is this?" Jay said quietly, not meeting Carlos' eyes.

"Jay."

"I said." Jay paused, trying to collect himself. "What is this?"

He furiously let go of Carlos' arm and pushed him against the door with a loud 'thud'.

"I want you to tell me right now WHAT THE HELL THAT IS! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO YOURSELF!" Jay began to yell, ignoring the expression Carlos was displaying. He wanted to know what exactly he was looking at and why it was there.

"I want you to tell me who did this to you. AND DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME CARLOS!" Jay pinned Carlos against the wall, the time looking him in the eyes. He saw panic and fear, but he ignored it.

Carlos stayed silent. He stared back into Jay's eyes, only to meet anger and rage. He wanted to stay quiet, but he knew that if he did things would only get worse. Either way, he stayed quiet. He wasn't sure if he could even speak right now.

"WHO DID THIS TO YOU!" Jay yelled, this time, getting closer to Carlos so that their chests were pressed against each other. Both of them staring directly into each others eyes. Neither of them breaking the stare until Jay slowly let go of Carlos. His arms falling limply to his sides. He then felt another anger rise up in him and the next thing Carlos knew was that Jay's arm was in the air while he felt his left cheek burn.

Carlos raised his left hand up to his cheek, only to meet tender skin. His whole left cheek began to sting the moment he made contact with it and he then stared blankly at Jay.

He started to cry as he slowly unlocked the door with the key that Jay had dropped. He quickly ran out the door, he wanted to escape. To leave. He couldn't take it anymore. He was done. He wasn't coming back. He was never going to come back. No one will ever see his face again until no one remembers the name Carlos De Vil. 

Jay's mind was blank as he slowly began to realize what he had done. He didn't care, the only thing he could think about were the words that continued to replay in his head. Those godforsaken words that made him angry and upset at the same time.

" _You did this to me."_

That was all it took for him to reach his limit. He was done. He no longer had any reason to do anything. 

Carlos was gone.


	3. Down Under

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this chapter is way over due. So I would like to consider this my early Christmas present to all you guys. I hope you enjoy and comment you thoughts about this chapter.

Carlos sat silently under one of the trees deep in the forest that surrounds Auradon Prep. He sat there, crying, waiting for someone to save him. Someone to tell him that none of this was happening. That none of this was real. That Jay didn't hit him. That those words that escaped Jay's lips were a joke. Nothing but a joke.

Everything in the forest was silent except for the silent sobs coming from Carlos' shaking figure. His once white jacket was drenched in blood, well, his right sleeve. It was covered in this deep crimson color that if seen, it wouldn't have looked as white as it was a few hours ago. He was a mess, tear stained cheeks, boots covered in mud and now a jacket with a sleeve drenched in blood.

"I don't understand." Carlos whimpered, shaking his head slowly. "I don't understand what I did wrong."

' _Nothing makes sense anymore.'_

Carlos slowly began to drift off, becoming more and more lightheaded with every drop that was soaked up by his jacket sleeve. His arm had stopped hurting a while ago, but now, now he could barely move it at all. It didn't feel under his control anymore. It wasn't like anything was under his control anyways.

He decided to at least bandage it up since he didn't like the idea of dying of blood loss right now.

Once he was done, he stood up, looking off into the darkness of the forest. He wanted to hide in there, but he should get back, but he didn't want to. He didn't want to see Jay.

So he went deeper into the woods, turning around and seeing the lights from Auradon Prep slowly disappear. He smiled softly before running once more. Running away from the pain that this whole experience has brought him.

He was done.

* * *

"YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!" Evie yelled, her arm sup in the air. It didn't matter what state Jay was in.

"Evie." Mal said, trying to place a hand on her friend's shoulder but Evie quickly swatted it away.

Jay on the other hand, didn't respond after telling them what happened. All he did was sit quietly on the ground, his head in between his knees. He knew his friends would be mad, but he just didn't think that it would be this bad. Wait, no. He did know it was going to be this bad.

"YOU DID ALL OF THIS FOR THAT BITCH!!!!! Pardon my language, BUT THAT'S WHY YOU DID IT!!!!!! YOU DESTROYED CARLOS' HEART FOR THAT CUNT!!!!" Evie continued to yell, anger and despair mixing up inside her. She pushed past Mal and got to Jay. She didn't take a second to think about what she was doing before she picked him up and slapped him across the face. Her hand began to sting, but she ignored it. 

Mal's eyes widened as she saw the scene in front of her. Evie had never done something like that and she was kind of worried of what she was going to do afterwards.

"Evie, please calm down." Mal was as angry as Evie, heck, even more angry. Yet she couldn't find it in herself to hurt her friend the same way Evie was. All she wanted was to go find Carlos. That's all that should matter right now, not this.

"Calm down, CALM DOWN! HOW CAN I CALM DOWN AFTER WHAT HE DID!?" Evie yelled as she raised her hand up once more. She watched as Jay flinched slightly. It took her a second to realize what she was doing and once she did her eyes began to glaze over.

Mal noticed as her friend began to tremble slightly. Once she heard the soft sobs, she wrapped her arms around her, letting Evie lay her head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Evie whimpered. "I'm so sorry."

Jay looked up at his two friends, noticing the dark expression on Mal's face she she glared right back at him.

"We are going to go find Carlos and when we do, I don't want you any where near him. If I even see you try to lay a hand on him, I will not hesitate to kick your ass all the way back to the Isle. Do you understand me?" Mal stated as she watched Jay nod slightly. She then led her friend out of the room, closing the door behind her. She waited a few seconds before telling Evie what to do now.

"We need to go find Carlos. If we don't do it now we might never find him." Mal said, placing both her hands on her Evie's shoulders, squeezing them slightly.

"Okay." Evie replied, wiping her tears away wither her handkerchief. "Okay."

"Alright, I'll go ask around if anyone has seen him, you go get yourself cleaned up and I'll meet you at the school entrance in twenty minutes okay." Mal said, letting go of her friend.

"I understand." Evie replied.

"Okay."

The two teens split up, going separate ways, both of them thinking the exact same thing.

_Where are you Carlos and what the hell have you done to us?_

* * *

Carlos continued to run through the woods while the fireflies lit the way. The sight was beautiful as he stopped running. He looked at all the fireflies as they flew carelessly through the air. It would have made him smile if it wasn't for the current state he was in.

"It would have been nice to sit down and watch these with Jay." Carlos could feel himself tear up as he continued to speak. "To have him tell me how much he how much he loves me as he wraps his arms around me."

Carlos wrapped his arms around himself, now facing the ground as the tears finally made their way down his cheeks. He slowly began to sink to his knees as he continued to speak.

"It would have been nice to see the smile on his face as he repeats those three words. To have him make me swoon over and over again as I realize why I love him. Then the thoughts of falling in love with my best friend wouldn't make me hate myself but instead they would make me happy."

It wasn't long until he started to sob. Even as he started to cry harder, he didn't stop talking."

"All that would have been nice, but now all that is a dream that will never come true. How ironic, a place where dreams come true is still unable to make everyone of it's people happy."

He could no longer speak as the pain was too much now. It hurt too much to speak so all he could do now was let himself be consumed by the sorrow.

"Carlos, is that you?" The sound of Evie's voice made him stop crying.

He quickly wiped the tears and looked back to face his friend. She stood there with a small smile adorning her features as tears started to roll down her cheeks. Carlos quickly stood up and ran to her, his arms outstretched as Evie opened her arms to accept him in a warm embrace.

"I'm so sorry." Evie muttered as she hugged him tighter.

Carlos started to sob as he tried to find the right words to say.

"It's going to be okay. It's all going to be okay." Evie said, stroking his hair with a gentle touch.

"Evie, please take me away from here." Carlos choked out, hugging his friend a little tighter.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't plan on taking you back to that place." Evie said gently as she smiled into his hair. She knew she couldn't take him back now so all she could right now was try her best to be by his side. That's all he needed right now, to have someone by his side.

"We'll go far far away, somewhere where no one will find us." Evie said softly.

"I would like that."

"A place where we will be happy." She said, releasing him softly so that she could wipe away his tears.

"Yeah."

"A place where no one can hurt us." Evie took his hand in hers and they both start to walk forward.

"A place where we can be ourselves." Carlos said, looking over at Evie as they walk.

"A place that we could call our own." Evie smiled as she gave Carlos' hand a soft squeeze.

"A place where our scars will be seen as trophies. A place where we can forget all the pain. A place where there will only be light."

They slowly made their way through the forest, neither of them looking back as the faint sound of yelling could be heard in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, this is not the end of this story. I really hope you enjoy and I will try to post the next chapter as soon as I can. Thank you so much for reading and make sure to comment you thoughts below^^


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